Where I've Been Lately
A year ago I was put on a mood stabilizer, zyprexa, because of the non-stop crying and belief I was getting signs from god. It’s not good for the body so they weaned me off it. Turns out it’s like #2 of the top hardest drugs to get off of in its class. I was dry heaving. I had tremors. After two weeks of hell I was told to go back on it. For now I’m just not going to worry about it. I need to function, not deal with withdrawal.
As soon as I felt better, 3 days ago, I immediately knew what I wanted to do most.
I’m going to write books.
The kind of books that are not out there. I’ve looked. Books about the body, about grief and resilience. Books with art projects and essays. Books telling the truth about what is uncomfortable and messy and beautiful at the same time. A way to make meaning out of suffering. A way to help women feel less alone.
Writing has become a lifeline, and it feels like I have a purpose again.
If you are still reading this, thank you. I’m grateful you are here.
As I create this book I will share prompts, art, behind the scene photos, and pieces of my story along the way. I invite you to create with me.
What are yOu rebuilding right now? What story is trying to be written in your life?
I think your books would be awesome. Like a female Bukowski but more interesting. You’re an excellent writer.
Some meds can be very difficult to withdraw from. A very slow taper over a period of many months is a way to do that without severe withdrawal symptoms. If you ever want more information, just ask.
Wishing you all the good things. 💕✨
I'm sorry you're dealing with the meds issue, my friend. It sounds miserable.
However... on the BOOKS project, it's perfect! During all of these years that I have followed you, even before I considered you a "real life friend", I have wished you would do something like this. I wished I could hold in my hands a cohesive printout of your posts, encouragement, classes, prompts, poems, art, advise, etc in a some sort of Manual/Workbook/Lookbook guide on "How to Exist in the World as an Optimistic, Heartbroken Artist (Or just a live human being.)" I literally cannot wait to see what you develop. Love you Suzi!